TOP FIVE PARKS AND RECREATION COLD OPENS (in chronological order) | requested by 7percentsolution
CREDIT CARD LADY: We noticed some abnormal activity on your credit card, so we just need you to confirm or deny some of the recent charges.
LESLIE: Okay, thank you.
CREDIT CARD LADY: $20 to Netflix.
LESLIE: Yep.
CREDIT CARD LADY: $20 to Blockbuster online.
TOM: Both?
LESLIE: I needed all eleven discs of Gossip Girl at the same time.
CREDIT CARD LADY: $120 in tuition to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
LESLIE: They give you a little wand and a diploma. It’s fun.
TOM: What did you major in?
LESLIE: Potions. You know, I’m going to take you off speaker phone. Go ahead.
CREDIT CARD LADY: Jessica Simpson clip-in hair extensions.
LESLIE: No, okay, umm…I wore those once. It was a money back guarantee, but I forgot to return them.
CREDIT CARD LADY: Man Pillow, the pillow shaped like a man.
TOM: Oh god.
CREDIT CARD LADY: Also something called Bucket of Cake.
LESLIE: Yeah, you know what? I think someone definitely stole my credit card, so why don’t you just cancel it?
CREDIT CARD LADY: Do you want to hear what else they purchased?
TOM: Yes.
LESLIE: No, umm, you don’t have to refund anything. Just cancel the credit card and we’ll all go on with our lives. Thank you.
TOM: So, what does the man pillow look like?
LESLIE: Daniel Craig. It’s for my lower back.2.06, “Kaboom”
(via starkreactor)
We live in a world in which a character on Community who took a set visit to Cougar town actually appeared in an episode of Cougar Town. Is it so wrong to want Chris Traeger to be God!Castiel’s new right-hand man? I think he’d really raise morale, and Castiel is in the market for a second-in-command anyway.
